9 Ways to Spend Time with Your Teen Daughter & Build Self-Esteem

Dove DisclosureTeen girl acting strong, laughing, with a smile on her face and happySpending quality time with your teen daughter is the best way to help build self-esteem.  Self-esteem is important, having good self-esteem means you think highly of yourself.   Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean you are bragging about yourself, it’s acting knowing who you are and knowing you are worthy of the very best in life.  It’s about loving and accepting who you are, just the way you are, stop worrying about bring perfect (nobody is), and live your life to the fullest.  Truly love yourself, who you are, and what you stand for.  They say beauty comes from within, and without a doubt that is true, but it also shines out.

Mom’s play a huge role in helping their daughters see their full potential, realizing they are truly amazing, and believing in themselves.  My oldest daughter, Catie’s mom walked out on her when she was very young.  My husband raised her alone, until him and I meet.  I have been raising Catie as my own since then, and I would walk through fire for this lovely lady.  How a women could walk out on her child, and never look back is beyond me.  Not to mention how much pain, and self-esteem issues it caused Caite.  Many of you wouldn’t know she is my step-daughter because I don’t think of her in that way, don’t refer to her that way, unless I am explaining something like I am now.

teen girl looking upset, made, sad, and unhappy
It doesn’t take long to impact a girl’s self-esteem, but everyone needs to feel good about themselves.  Something I have learned, especially with Catie is spending quality time with mom is much more important than I ever imagined.  It’s not only builds our relationship, but helps build her self-esteem.  She used to think her mom walking out on her was her fault, because she was not good enough.  Once I walked into her life, and went out of my way to do nice things for her she almost didn’t know how to handle it.  At first she was very distant, then we had a talk, and she asked me why I was so nice to her.  She really though that she wasn’t worth it, she thought I was going to leave her too.  At 6 years old her self-esteem was gone, it wasn’t there, and it took years to build it up.

Teen girl dressed up very nice, with a huge smile, proud of who she isSeveral years ago my husband and I had some issues, he moved out for a while, and Catie wanted to stay with me.  It was hard for my husband, but he realized I was the only women in her life that had shown her motherly love.  To my surprise he allowed her to stay, and from that day forward her and I have been so close it gives me butterflies in my tummy.  I love how close we are, and most importantly I love to hear her call me mom, because I know what that means to her.  It was hard for her to call me mom, it took years, but once she did I knew she finally realized I was in her life for good.  Now she holds her head up, no more looking at the floor because she knows she is worth something!

When her father and I got back together, Catie changed and has not looked back.  She finally has the family she has always wanted, she finally knows that everyone in her life is there to stay, she finally has people who love her and she finally belives it.  She finally walks with her head held high, and it’s amazing to see the difference in her.  I think it’s important for moms to realize just how much their daughters need them, the difference in Catie is proof enough for me.

mom with teen daughter and toddler, teen daughter is kissing mom Being a mom it’s often hard to break away from the other kids to spend time with one child alone, but it will strengthen your relationship in the long run. Spending time alone with Catie has not only helped her self-esteem, it’s helped mine too.

We are a family that lives paycheck to paycheck, I have four kids lol.  That doesn’t stop me from spending quality time with my daughter, expcially once I realized how important it is.  It only means I have to get creative, and my husband often has to be understanding when I kick him out of our bedroom, lol.  Caite and I recently had a mom – daughter night.  We locked ourselves in my bedroom, yes we locked my husband out, and we did makeovers.  Well really I did her hair and she painted my nails, but it was 4 hours of non-stop laughing, bonding, smiles, and self-esteem building for the both of us.

I am in no way a professional teen mom, and I cannot tell you what you should, or shouldn’t do.  If you are looking for quality ways to spend time with your teen daughter, even on a budget here are a few things we do:

10 Quality Ways to Spend Time with Your Teen Daughter & Build Self-Esteem

  • Drive In – We are lucky enough to have one of those here, it’s inexpensive, and we can still talk during the movie.
  • Go for a drive – I always do this when I know something is bothering Catie.  It’s a great way to get them to open up, smile, and feel a ton of other emotions if you allow them to practice their driving skills lol.
  • Shopping – Typically we window shop, and maybe get something inexpensive that she likes such as nail polish.
  • Camping in the backyard – Yes I do this several times during the summer months.  It’s super fun to sleep on the trampoline with the kids, lol.  Once I do it with one of them, I have to do it with all four.
  • Go for a walk – Another great way to just relax, and start a conversation that your teen might need to have.
  • Rent movies – Typically when we do this I make my husband do something with the other kids, and stay out of our room.  It’s more fun for my daughter, and really makes her feel good to see that I am ditching dad for her, and dad loves it because he is finally in charge of the remote ha-ha.
  • Cooking and/or baking – Cooking is something we always do together, and my teen can out cook me on certain things.  It’s fun, and has caused a food fight, or two…
  • Set a date – I try my hardest to make one day a month just about Caite (I do it with my other kids too).  Sometimes I am not able to do it, but I try to make up for it.  Normally they understand, especially if it doesn’t become a habit.
  • Family movie night – Sure this isn’t all about them, but allow them to choose what you watch, have for dinner, and grab their favorite drinks.  It’s a great way to make them feel good about themselves, and involve the whole family.

Spending quality time with your teen daughter is a great way to build self-esteem.  It’s important that they know they are worth your time, your attention, and most importantly that you enjoy being around them because of who they are.  Relationships with our kids are not built overnight, it’s important to start early, and if you are raising a stepchild please be understanding, and don’t give up on them.  Things will work out, they need time, and believe it or not they do need you as long as you love them.

teen girl without any makeup smiling

Dove® Self-Esteem Toolkit

You want to hear something scary?  Did you know that six in 10 girls stop doing something they love because of anxiety about their looks?  That’s horrible, and being someone who has had to deal with self-esteem issues I would love to help others overcome it.  Which is why I am really excited to share the rest of this post with you!

mother and daughter happy and healthy

Dove® has partnered with the Boys and Girls Club, Girls Scouts and Girls Inc. in its mission to help girls reach their full potential. Each time you buy Dove® at Kroger, your purchase helps provide self-esteem programs for girls across the country. Dove® has reached more than 11 million girls so far, and with your help, they can reach their target of 15 million by 2015. Together, with your contribution, we can make all girls unstoppable.  Dove® has this totally awesome Self-Esteem Toolkit that I cannot recommend enough.  It has tons of GREAT information for parents, teens, and anyone else looking for advice when it comes to self-esteem.  Be sure to swing by and check out the Dove® Self-Esteem Toolkit by Clicking Here.  You can also join the Girls Unstoppable conversation online!  It’s easy, just follow the hashtag #GirlsUnstoppable.

Dove® Just Us Girls Night Giveaway

Special thanks to Dove® not only for this giveaway, but for all the work they are putting in to helping girls build their self-esteem!

mom and daughter sitting down on the green grass happy togetherOne lucky person will win $15 worth of Dove® products.  If you are anything like me, that’s one awesome giveaway, because I already use and love Dove®!  Giveaway is open to US only, must be over the age of 18, and use the giveaway widget below.  Good Luck Everyone!

I am not responsible for shipment of prize, sponsor will ship prize to winner.  This giveaway is in no way associated with Facebook or any other social media network.

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  1. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I love the way you can set the tool kit and get specific recommendations according to the age and problem of the girl. These are wonderful resources for parentsand adults who want to promote the self esteem of a girl or girls

  2. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I am so glad that this Self-esteem toolkit and resources exists because I believe it will really be helpful for both parents and girls, Thank you Dove for sponsoring it.

  3. carolyn coney says

    I love the fact that it deems to build up confidence in girls they are dong a great job the Dove Self Esteem Kit is great.

  4. Kathy Lane says

    I like that the self esteem toolkit is for different ages of girls,and gives very good tips for parents,teachers,and leaders to go by.

  5. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I think that you are a wonderful mother, but for those woman who need help this Self-Esteem Toolkit by Dove is an excellent place to start and shows are to teach girls their own self worth

  6. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    You are am amazing woman to have formed such a great loving relationship with your stepdaughter and taught her her own self-worth. I love this kit because it will help people who don;’t have your innate ability to help girls.

  7. Heather Elizabeth Way says

    I love the whole idea behind the Dove Self-Esteem toolkit! Very much needed in today’s world for our teens!

  8. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I can’t pick just one thing to like about the Dove Self-Esteem Toolkit. The whole kit is marvelous and I also like the separate activities guide for different ages and 1 0n 1 too.

  9. Pauline Milner says

    I am impressed that this company is socially conscious and realizes that many girls have issues with self esteem. It is good that they are trying to make a difference. Thanks for the great giveaway opportunity. Keep up the terrific blogging.

    • says

      PAULINE I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW HAPPY I WAS TO BE PART OF SUCH AM AWESOME CAMPIGN!! I loved Dove before, but now I will be committed to them because of what they are doing. It’s really amazing when you learn what big name companies are REALLY doing something to give back… Thank you so much for your time, and always stopping by you are appreciate more than you will every know!

  10. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    This Dove Self-esteem tool kit really seem to cover all the angles and is a great waay to get suggestions to help any girl.

  11. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I also like the 5 self esteem topics. Sometimes I feel we concentrate too much on body image and the other topics are so important too.

  12. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    If you are not sure what to do the self-esteem tool kit is a wonderful device to aid you find a specific solution.

  13. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    This is such a great kit and I am grateful that you posted it for us. It is an easy way of getting advice for a specific girl or girls and situation(s).

  14. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I like that the self-esteem ambassador is not a skinny woman and the idea of handpicked activities is wonderful.

  15. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I like that the self esteem toolkit has a recommendation not just for age but for the number of girls involved

  16. Karen M. says

    The Dove Self-Esteem Toolkit is a great concept….I wish there had been something similar during my awkward teenage years. Jen I loved your article; you are fortunate to have that kind of relationship with your [step]daughter. Some of those activities will work for teenage boys, too.

  17. Jane Ritz says

    I need your advice on this one. I was a 2nd grade student. One of my students stays in contact with me on facebook. She’s in the 9th or 10th grade. She is anorexic. She weighs 80 pounds. Her family life stinks. I don’t know who to call to help her. I don’t even know what school she goes to now. Help if you can!

  18. judy gardner says

    it sounds like you are a wonderful mother! i say “mother” because it really does sound like she is your own flesh and blood! thanks for the tips.

    • says

      Thank you Judy, and she is mine! I love her more than she will ever know, and I am thankful she came into my life just the same. I don’t know where I would be if she wasn’t in my life, she helped me really grow up too. Crazy the way things work out for the best in the long run..

  19. Jo-Ann Brightman says

    I like that the tool kit recommender has categories so that you can really be quite specific about the age and type of problem

  20. alycia mundall says

    Not going to lie this post made me cry….such a beautiful story. I love that she stayed with you while her father and you went your own ways for a bit…that really helped her see you really loved her. Thanks for sharing!

    • says

      Thank you so much! I don’t tell that story often, but I figured it was a good time because spending time with you kids is SO very important, even if you just lock yosuelf in a room without anyone else to have that special time. It really does count. I very much appreciate your comment, and feel blessed to have her in my life. She helped me so much, she helped me see things from a different pair of shoes and sometimes we all need that…

  21. md kennedy says

    I SO wish my mother had had the time and energy (she was single Mom of 4 who worked and went to school full-time) to spend this time with me. I am sure it would have made such a difference in my growing up, when I was such a sad and self-conscious thing.

    • says

      WOW, she was a busy lady… My husbands mom did that, and she always tells me to enjoy the time I have that I am blessed to be able to stay home. I know she feel like she missed out, but she did what needed to be done… HUGs to you MD!

  22. JennyA says

    Thank you so much for this list of 10 Quality Ways to Spend Time with Your Teen Daughter & Build Self-Esteem!!