Spending quality time with your teen daughter is the best way to help build self-esteem. Self-esteem is important, having good self-esteem means you think highly of yourself. Having high self-esteem doesn’t mean you are bragging about yourself, it’s acting knowing who you are and knowing you are worthy of the very best in life. It’s about loving and accepting who you are, just the way you are, stop worrying about bring perfect (nobody is), and live your life to the fullest. Truly love yourself, who you are, and what you stand for. They say beauty comes from within, and without a doubt that is true, but it also shines out.
Mom’s play a huge role in helping their daughters see their full potential, realizing they are truly amazing, and believing in themselves. My oldest daughter, Catie’s mom walked out on her when she was very young. My husband raised her alone, until him and I meet. I have been raising Catie as my own since then, and I would walk through fire for this lovely lady. How a women could walk out on her child, and never look back is beyond me. Not to mention how much pain, and self-esteem issues it caused Caite. Many of you wouldn’t know she is my step-daughter because I don’t think of her in that way, don’t refer to her that way, unless I am explaining something like I am now.
It doesn’t take long to impact a girl’s self-esteem, but everyone needs to feel good about themselves. Something I have learned, especially with Catie is spending quality time with mom is much more important than I ever imagined. It’s not only builds our relationship, but helps build her self-esteem. She used to think her mom walking out on her was her fault, because she was not good enough. Once I walked into her life, and went out of my way to do nice things for her she almost didn’t know how to handle it. At first she was very distant, then we had a talk, and she asked me why I was so nice to her. She really though that she wasn’t worth it, she thought I was going to leave her too. At 6 years old her self-esteem was gone, it wasn’t there, and it took years to build it up.
Several years ago my husband and I had some issues, he moved out for a while, and Catie wanted to stay with me. It was hard for my husband, but he realized I was the only women in her life that had shown her motherly love. To my surprise he allowed her to stay, and from that day forward her and I have been so close it gives me butterflies in my tummy. I love how close we are, and most importantly I love to hear her call me mom, because I know what that means to her. It was hard for her to call me mom, it took years, but once she did I knew she finally realized I was in her life for good. Now she holds her head up, no more looking at the floor because she knows she is worth something!
When her father and I got back together, Catie changed and has not looked back. She finally has the family she has always wanted, she finally knows that everyone in her life is there to stay, she finally has people who love her and she finally belives it. She finally walks with her head held high, and it’s amazing to see the difference in her. I think it’s important for moms to realize just how much their daughters need them, the difference in Catie is proof enough for me.
Being a mom it’s often hard to break away from the other kids to spend time with one child alone, but it will strengthen your relationship in the long run. Spending time alone with Catie has not only helped her self-esteem, it’s helped mine too.
We are a family that lives paycheck to paycheck, I have four kids lol. That doesn’t stop me from spending quality time with my daughter, expcially once I realized how important it is. It only means I have to get creative, and my husband often has to be understanding when I kick him out of our bedroom, lol. Caite and I recently had a mom – daughter night. We locked ourselves in my bedroom, yes we locked my husband out, and we did makeovers. Well really I did her hair and she painted my nails, but it was 4 hours of non-stop laughing, bonding, smiles, and self-esteem building for the both of us.
I am in no way a professional teen mom, and I cannot tell you what you should, or shouldn’t do. If you are looking for quality ways to spend time with your teen daughter, even on a budget here are a few things we do:
10 Quality Ways to Spend Time with Your Teen Daughter & Build Self-Esteem
- Drive In – We are lucky enough to have one of those here, it’s inexpensive, and we can still talk during the movie.
- Go for a drive – I always do this when I know something is bothering Catie. It’s a great way to get them to open up, smile, and feel a ton of other emotions if you allow them to practice their driving skills lol.
- Shopping – Typically we window shop, and maybe get something inexpensive that she likes such as nail polish.
- Camping in the backyard – Yes I do this several times during the summer months. It’s super fun to sleep on the trampoline with the kids, lol. Once I do it with one of them, I have to do it with all four.
- Go for a walk – Another great way to just relax, and start a conversation that your teen might need to have.
- Rent movies – Typically when we do this I make my husband do something with the other kids, and stay out of our room. It’s more fun for my daughter, and really makes her feel good to see that I am ditching dad for her, and dad loves it because he is finally in charge of the remote ha-ha.
- Cooking and/or baking – Cooking is something we always do together, and my teen can out cook me on certain things. It’s fun, and has caused a food fight, or two…
- Set a date – I try my hardest to make one day a month just about Caite (I do it with my other kids too). Sometimes I am not able to do it, but I try to make up for it. Normally they understand, especially if it doesn’t become a habit.
- Family movie night – Sure this isn’t all about them, but allow them to choose what you watch, have for dinner, and grab their favorite drinks. It’s a great way to make them feel good about themselves, and involve the whole family.
Spending quality time with your teen daughter is a great way to build self-esteem. It’s important that they know they are worth your time, your attention, and most importantly that you enjoy being around them because of who they are. Relationships with our kids are not built overnight, it’s important to start early, and if you are raising a stepchild please be understanding, and don’t give up on them. Things will work out, they need time, and believe it or not they do need you as long as you love them.
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