My husband, gosh he amazes me. I don’t normally tell this story, but I think this post is the perfect one to share it with you. I met my husband almost ten years ago and immediately fell in love with him. Everything started out great, the whole white picket fence story. Don’t worry, it hasn’t always been that way, just during the start. See, he was a daddy to three children. I was single, selfish, and more interested in what I was doing next. I truly never pictured myself as a mother; I wanted to travel the world, be a free spirit, blah blah blah. Well, that is until I met my husband.
His oldest daughter Catie lived with us from the start. Shawn (my husband) raised her by himself from the time she was ten months. Catie’s mom called Shawn and asked him if he could keep her for a week while she did something and never came back for her. Her mom was 100% absent, and poor Catie just wanted a mom. I often wonder if these parents realize what they do to children when they leave like this, it’s wrong on so many different levels.
Luckily we both hit it off. She was only seven at the time and did an awesome job breaking me in. Of course, his other two children would come and visit every other weekend: Vayda was two at the time and Bud was only six. I enjoyed spending time with him and his children. However, I do admit I was a little uneasy around Bud because I had never been around a handicapped child before and it’s scary. You have to remember this is coming from a girl who had never been around children, not even changed a diaper. But watching my husband with his children started to change me. He was such a good dad, his eyes lit up when they were around, and his life suddenly seemed full and he had a purpose. It was magical, but I still didn’t want any children of my own (lol).
In September of 2008, my husband received a phone call to pick up his two youngest kids because their mother was going to jail due to drugs. He dropped what he was doing and picked them up. A few months went by and the kids were still with us when my husband got another phone call. Vayda and Bud’s mom had passed away; my husband was so scared to tell the kids. I mean, how you tell two children that their mom is dead and they cannot see her again. At this time, Vayda was only three and Bud didn’t understand, it took him years to understand. For the longest time, he didn’t like me because he associated me with his mother being gone. It wasn’t until my husband and I split up for a few months that he realized it wasn’t me that took his mother way, and our relationship improved.
Everything took place two weeks before we got married and my husband noticed I was somewhat in shock. It was a lot to handle, I was used to taking care of only me, now my house was busting at the seams. When I bought the house, I wasn’t planning on having three kids; it was only me in a small three bedroom, one bath house. I think I was in shock at first, but my husband never skipped a beat, never complained and even noticed I was shell-shocked. I still remember him talking to me about it. He told me he loved me, and he knew this was a lot for anyone to absorb. He told me he understood if I didn’t want to marry him or wanted to wait a little bit. He wanted me to know how much he loved me and how much he wanted a life with me but asked me to understand that his first job was to be their dad because they didn’t ask to be put on this earth. This was when I started to learn more about him and see the real person underneath.
I found comfort in the fact that he would choose his children over our relationship; my dad would have done the same thing, and, if in the position I knew I, too, would have done the same thing. I think I would have spit in his face had he told me anything different. To this day, I respect him and love him even more because of that conversation; it was the very moment I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. It didn’t matter how stressful things got, it was where I wanted to be.
We got married and had a child of our own, but never managed to catch a break. My husband had so much thrown at us the first few years of our marriage, and we eventually drifted apart, split up for six months and it was the best thing that could have happened to our family. We’re now a family because of it; I think we all realized that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. We also appreciate one another more now than ever before. Even Bud’s attitude has changed; I think he realized I didn’t take his mom away from him. I still grin to this day hearing him call me mom because I worked so hard to get that boy to accept me but I think he also needed to experience life without all of us together.
My children have experienced a lot in the few years they have been here, but one thing they will never have to experience is what it is like to have a father who doesn’t care or isn’t around. Their daddy will be there for them no matter what, and there isn’t a person in this world that can change that. I sleep better at night knowing my husband is the daddy he is and that nobody can ever change the daddy in him.
In the end, things worked out for our family. A lot of things have changed, but one thing hasn’t and that is my husband’s parenting. He is the BEST father my children could have; he loves them more than he loves anything, he puts them first, gives things up for them, and never looks back. He is without a doubt DOIN’ GOOD! He is the BEST daddy I know, and we are blessed to have him.
Take a moment and watch this YouTube video from our friends at Minute Maid and take a moment to remind someone you know is doin good that they are DOIN GOOD! Being a parent is no easy task and it’s important to remind one another that they are doin good from time to time.
Huge thank you to our friends at Minute Maid for sponsoring this post. As always all the above pictures are my husband and children are my wonderful family and the text is my opinion!