Marriage is work; I don’t care what anyone says there is nothing easy about living with the same person day after day. There are little things that will start to bother both of you, and it’s important that you address these issues, yes, but it’s also important how you respond. If the way your husband breaths bothers you it might be a good idea to work that one out by yourself because that sounds more like a you need to get over its problem, and don’t worry I have had to get over things too. I wanted to get over those petty things because my husband means that much to me.
Before kids marriage is all that and a bag of chips. You can go and do as you please and have all the time in the world for one another. Weekends can be spent in bed, and weeknights can be spent alone. It’s heavenly, but at some point, most relationships want to move to that next level and start a family. Which is fabulous but it changes things more than I ever expected.
Once the kids arrive your love and devotion will be tested. I’m not saying that kids are a bad thing, they are the best thing that has ever happened to us. I am saying that you will be tested, because all that time you had for one another will not be shared with your kids and it’s a learning process. You just can’t give up on one another while you are learning. Try to keep an open mind and be understanding and respectful of one another’s feelings but in the same sense don’t be a fool and let yourself be trampled. There is a point, when enough is enough. Me putting my foot down is actually what saved my marriage. Sure we split up for a while, it was hard, but I had to respect myself not to allow someone to hurt me the way my husband did. After we got back together we both had a new respect for one another and most importantly we appreciate one another rather than took each other for granted.
My marriage has seen both the good and the bad. I’ve had to hold on to the past and learn to move on from the past. We both have had to reconnect with one another and do everything we can to keep disconnection from happening again. We’ve been separated and got back together better than before. Honestly, I don’t know that there is any certain way to deal with marriage issues, but I do think reading as much as possible and finding what you think works for you is a great place to start. I’d love to sit here and a happy couple’s secret to a good marriage (but remember we have had out not so happy moments to get to these happy moments), or how to get intimacy back, but what worked for me might not work for you, but I’m happy to share it with you so you can take something you feel might work and use it to better your relationship.
I also suggest checking out The 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage! It’s completely free, so don’t stress it! To check it out, just head over to MarriageFitness.com.
6 comments
Takes 2 peoples that love constantly to make a marriage work. you just dont say i do and think things will be simple there will be roadblocks just gotta have each others backs
I agree 100%… I we also have to stay true to ourselves because if we don’t things can take a turn for the worst. I think that is a lot of what my husband and I went through, we sort of lost who we were in everything so we had to get in touch with who that was again.
I definitely know about being tested in a relationship even though I was never (and probably never will be) married. I spent a few seasons living in a 10 foot yurt with 4 foot high sides, in the middle of the desert with 2 toddlers, a cat and a dog, filling buckets for water at a pump haha. We had to take shifts sleeping so we could keep the wood burning stove going since it was our only heat source. In the end, it actually brought us all closer.
You most certainly have been tested… I’m not sure how that would turn out to my husband and me, lol. However, I do believe that we are put in certain situations for a reason whether. My mom used to tell me that all the time and I thought she was crazy. How does something so bad turn out to be good? I 100% understood what she was telling me all those years when my husband and I split up. It was hard, I was scared, I didn’t know what to do, I missed him, but at the end of the day, it helped me realize that I could do it on my own and that things would be okay. Which helped me become a more confident stronger person and when it was all said and done my husband, and I got back together, and things have been great. Not perfect, but it change us both, and we appreciate one another more now. I think it’s awesome that you were able to come out of something like that stronger, rather than allowing it to tear you apart.. Or allowing it to make you run away, lol. Not really, but I do believe things happen to us for a reason we just have to pay attention to why and what we are supposed to learn from it.
We’re not married but co-habitation does bring difficulties and hardships like a marriage. No matter how many times I want to give up, we’re still together going strong.
Oh yes, marriage is only a piece of paper. I totally believe that you can have the same problems in a co-habitation relationships, it’s basically a marriage. I’m glad that you are still together and going strong, my husband and I have been down some bumpy roads but in the end we are together and happy. However, it did take us splitting up to learn how much we truly cared and appreciated one another.