I was a preteen once, and no there were not dinosaurs! I too got attitude, rebelled and knew everything. My parents were completely and totally clueless when it came to anything. I also worried about what everyone would think, changed my favorite color when the wind changed direction and worried about if my cloths were “cool”. Cool to me was being crazy, having fun, just plain goofy and doing the things that made me happy regardless of what anyone thought.
Now that I am a 31-year-old mother of 4 I could care less what people think and if my cloths are “cool”, as long as they are comfortable. With age comes wisdom and you realize what is important in life. It is not having a lot of friends, what people think, or being cool. It is taking care of your family, spending time with and loving your children, holding your husband at night, and making sure your children are happy.
My daughter is 13, I know she thinks I am clueless and know nothing, I remember being that age. It is so funny when I talk to her I know exactly what she is thinking. I remember thinking the same thing and probably having the same look on my face when my mother would talk to me about things. If you have a preteen or teen, you know what look I am talking about the hurry up mom I have better things to do or something else I want to talk about, like these really awesome shoes that my friends have.
I look at my daughter and remember how hard it was to be her age, the age when you are trying to figure out who you are, what you like and being cool. I hate that kids now a days worry so much about being cool. Being cool to me is not forgetting who you are, worrying about being someone who makes other people happy, and missing out on some things that make you happy with life. My daughter this year was too old for Halloween and Valentines Day cards that you get for the kidos so they can give them to their friends.
It breaks my heart to hear her say that I know she is just doing that because it is what is “cool”, and I am anti worrying about being cool. If being cool means you forget about the things that make you happy and that are fun for you, I want no part of it. I know she really wanted to dress up and give her friends Valentines Day cards, I could see it on her face and she said she was going to sit out hunting Easter eggs this year. Hunting eggs is one of her favorite things to do, she loves to help her little sister hunt them. Not this year she just wanted to hang out and watch everyone hunt eggs because she was too old for hunting eggs.
The whole cool thing makes my heart sad that children miss out on things that they really do enjoy and they feel like they cannot do them because if someone finds out they will be labeled not cool. I am an adult and I still find it fun to dress up for Halloween and go out trick or treating with the kids, and I always give the girls I work with Valentines Day cards, why? It is fun, that is why. It makes me so sad that children worry so much about being cool that they forget about what they are willing to miss out on things that make them happy in life.
Thank god with age comes the knowledge that life is too short to worry about what anyone thinks about you, so you can try to pass this knowledge on to your children. It is our job as parents to make sure our children still enjoy the small things in life even if it is not “cool”. I sat my daughter down and we talked about what being cool really was and why she would trade something she really enjoyed and that made her happy for a label of the word cool. I asked her to explain to me what cool was to her, she could not really give me an answer. Her not being able to give me an answer about what cool was really made her stop and think about it. She told me that she was worrying too much about what people thought about her and she was not having fun because she was not doing things that she still liked. My daughter will be hunting eggs this year, why because it is what makes her happy, and that makes me happy. We want our children to do and have things that make them happy in life.
It breaks my heart that so many children feel that to be cool they have to give up things that make them happy, because they are a certain age it is time to give up things that make them happy and that is fun. When what really makes a person cool is they personality, that they make you laugh, have a big heart and are there for you. It is the small things that make us cool. We are cool because of who we are not because of the shoes we wear or what we do or don’t do with our time.