Have you given much thought to whether or not you should engage in a romantic relationship with your best friend?
Sometimes, you end up having non-platonic feelings for a friend close to you. The question is, should you date them? Is a potential romantic relationship worth the risks?
As best friends, you two spend a lot of time together. You talk with each other about the ups and downs in your life. You share your innermost dreams and desires. You plan on having a forever lasting friendship.
And boom! One day, you realize that you have nurtured some romantic feelings for your best friend. And for better or worse, the feelings are mutual.
What will you do now? Will you two proceed to a relationship, or will you keep things as they are? Let’s see the advantages and disadvantages.
The pros and cons of dating a friend
1. You already know about each other.
People do not become best friends throughout the day or two. You two have spent a great deal of time with each other, and you know pretty much everything about your bestie. This is a great bonus compared to all the time and effort you need to put in so as to learn about someone you have just met.
And it’s not all about the good side. You have seen the other people at their worst, and so have they. You know about their flaws, and they know yours. You were with him when he cried like a child for failing to get into the basketball club. You comforted her when she had a conflict with her younger sister. Thus, you two do not nurture any unrealistic expectations of the other party. Instead, you understand and accept your bestie/lover as who they are.
Also, when you date your friend, the chances are you two will be less likely to encounter conflicts regarding political, religious, or social viewpoints. You two must have had plenty of discussions or even arguments about these sensitive topics. You have come to sympathize with what the other person believes in, or else you would not have been best friends. So in short, no more freaking out when you learn that your new boyfriend is a conservative while you are a liberal. Yay!
2. You no longer need to impress the other person
As you already see your friends at their ups and downs and vice versa, there is no need for you two to pretend to be someone else.
No more dress to impress. No more faking “Yes I’d love to see a comedy movie with you”, while all you want to do is to enjoy a walk in the park. You can freely express yourself and do not worry about being judged by your date.
3. You are familiar with the other person’s family.
If you intend on getting serious with your relationship, you will end up having to meet your date’s family. Imagine how awkward and uncomfortable it is to have dinner with two strangers who constantly ask for details about your romantic relationship. Or even your sex life! Urg.
However, if you are dating your friend, you can say goodbye to all the fuss of meeting the folks. Your friend’s parents probably know about you more than you realize, thanks to your friendship with their child. And that is not to mention your date’s siblings, or cousins. Things will be much easier to handle for both of you, or at least the meeting-the-parents occasion will not end up somewhat embarrassing for all parties involved.
4. Boredom may creep into your relationship.
With so many advantages, why should you back away from considering a relationship with your bestie?
Well, as you two already know too much about each other, there might be nothing left to explore. You will not have the excitement to learn about your boyfriend’s childhood dream, or the thrill when you happen to know that your girlfriend shares your music taste.
Everything is already in the air, and familiarity sometimes can breed boredom. If you already understand that much about your date, what is the point of dating at all? You will have to say goodbye to all the fun of “stalking” him/her on the Internet and trying to figure out what they really think about you.
5. If you two break up, the chances are you will lose a lover and a reliable friend.
Even though you two have known each other for years, there is nothing guaranteeing the sweet fruit of your relationship. You and your lover/bestie can still end up parting ways, and that is when you need to consider the whole thing.
When you break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend who is also your best friend, you lose two people at the same time. A romantic relationship is over, and so is your friendship, as most people cannot befriend their ex. Is that a risk you are willing to take?
6. You do not have anyone to talk about your relationship issues
Humans have a very basic need to share their personal lives with someone they trust. In most cases, this person tends to be one’s best friend.
The thing is, when you already date your bestie, you will not have that supportive friend who is always more than eager to hear about your dating stories. Doesn’t sound very exciting, right?
And also, who would you turn to for advice when things go sour between you and your lover? Well, since your bestie is now your date, it is impossible to bring up the bad stuff and discuss it freely.
Sure, your parents or your sibling can still listen to your rant, but will you treasure their insights as much as those coming from your best friend?
Whether to date your friend or not is a common question, and the answer is not always easy. It is best that you evaluate your choice, then decide to do what you feel the most comfortable with.
So, what do you think? Should we date our bestie in case romantic feelings surface? Share with us in the comment section below, and do not forget to bookmark this article for future reference!