Starting Over After a Divorce at 50: 4 Tips to Rebuild Your Life

by Guest Posts

Marriages are supposed to last forever, right? But unfortunately, some matches made in heaven call it quits. 

Divorce can be a devastating experience. It’s an emotional rollercoaster because getting “out of the habit” of marriage isn’t easy. In the United States, divorces among people above 50 years of age are rising. 

Every 10 in 1,000 people aged 50 and above are getting divorced. Texas alone had 1.4 divorces per 1,000 inhabitants. Why? Lack of intimacy, differences in lifestyle, reduced stigma, and tight finance, to name a few, are factors contributing to the rise in gray divorces. 

One prime example of gray divorce is the separation of Bill and Melinda Gates, which caused quite a public frenzy in 2021. 

If you’re going through a divorce, happiness may seem like a distant dream. But remember, the chaos won’t last forever, and soon, you’ll be happier than you can imagine. On that note, here are a few ways to rebuild your life after a gray divorce: 

#1 Allow Yourself to Grieve

Dissolution of marriage is no less than a punch in the gut, even if it wasn’t a happy marriage. Leaving your spouse after spending years with them is not easy for both men and women. You may be a tough cookie, but you need not be hard on yourself. 

Divorce is like the death of a relationship, a dream, and a lifestyle. Naturally, you’ll experience a rollercoaster of emotions during this time. 

We understand that it’s hard to snap out of the life you’re familiar with. But suppressing your emotions is a big no-no! Recognize your emotions and sit with them. 

Allow yourself to feel the pain of what you’ve lost. It may feel like you’re stuck in a dark dungeon, but actually, grieving is a part of healing. For some people, throwing away married stuff brings peace, so you might as well try that. 

#2 Let Go of the Bitterness

Did you know that couples in states like Texas have to wait for at least 60 days for the judge to grant the divorce after filing a petition? The ordeal that one goes through during this period is unimaginable. During this period, understandably, couples develop bitterness.

Now, bitterness after divorce is completely normal. Often, it stems from a combination of resentment, anger, and disappointment of being treated unfairly throughout the relationship. Or, perhaps, you may be bitter because your partner chose someone else over you despite promising for eternity. 

Bear in mind that bitterness is nasty! We’d say so because it makes humans sad, hurt, and angry. That means no one would want to be around you if you’re bitter. 

Focusing on the good stuff in life or planning for the future will seem impossible if you let the bitterness linger in your heart and mind. Letting go is the only way to heal yourself. While having friends who’ll let you sob on their shoulders is no less than a blessing, seeking professional help is what we recommend. 

Venting your emotions or pouring your heart out to your close ones may provide you temporary relief. But the catch is that they won’t know to help you cope with bitterness. 

Zencare says that divorcees need around 17 months to catch their breath and move on. If it’s been more than 17 months since your divorce and you still haven’t been able to let off the bitterness, it’s high time you seek out professional help. 

Talking to a therapist in Texas can be tremendously helpful, especially if you’re unable to release negative emotions. Therapists understand how challenging it is to rebuild life after a divorce in the 50s. As such, they will help you develop coping techniques, so you can move forward in life. 

#3 Take Care of Financial Matters

Life after divorce is taxing, especially for stay-at-home women who are dependent on their husbands for finances. Getting financially independent is important unless you demand alimony from your ex-spouse in a court of law. 

As soon as the divorce proceedings are over, start searching for a job. Transitioning to the role of a working woman from a stay-at-home mom will be challenging. You may even struggle to find a well-paying job with little to no experience. But don’t give up because nothing is insurmountable. 

#4 Rediscover Yourself

Ending a decades-long marriage can make your brain go haywire. While you may think of rushing into a new relationship, we suggest slowing down. Rather than rushing into a new romance, take a break from dating

That’s because love and intimacy will only fill lonely hours and not soothe your heart. Instead, rediscover yourself by signing up for a painting or a writing class, changing your style, or why not making new friends.

Reclaiming Your Life After a Gray Divorce

Calling it quits after spending countless years with your spouse is an ordeal. Your whole world crashing down may also have a negative effect on your physical and mental health. 

However, you need to be strong. Face your emotions and grieve as much as you want so that you can come out of it stronger than ever. Seek professional help if you’re unable to accept the present and find it challenging to move on. 

Celebrate your singlehood and explore the world. After all, you never know, you might bump into your soulmate.

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