Being calm can be difficult; that’s why it’s so hard to achieve. However, it’s not impossible. Being relaxed is the most challenging when you are in public, and you have to face a challenging situation. First of all, this doesn’t mean that you always have to be without emotions. Having a calm personality only means that you act in the right way and don’t lose it.
Achieving this skill has two sides. The first one is what do you show to others, so in a word, your body language. And the second one is the inner side. That state where you’re in a constant inner peace no matter what happens. And these two go hand in hand; if you can master one, there is a high chance that you will accomplish the other one as well.
One thing you should do is to be present at the moment. Overthinking is just like a conspiracy theory that we write for ourselves. In many cases, the situation we’re in it’s not that bad as we think.
So how to react to an unexpected event? First of just take a deep breath, a step back, and think about only that situation. Don’t think about tomorrow’s problem or what will you do in the next few hours. Just be in the moment. This will help you prevent yourself from overreacting and from making bad decisions.
Another thing you should do is to take some time to respond. In chess, every step your opponent makes is an unexpected event. However, the players always take their time to think clearly. And that can be applied in your life as well. When you face crossroads in life, never rush.
I know that this isn’t easy, and can take a lifetime to master, but if you don’t try, you will never achieve it. You will know when you became calmer when you see in your body language that you’re more relaxed.
There are signs like not crossing your arms, sitting confident and not asymmetrical, when you stand your feet is at least shoulder-width apart. On the other hand, if you force yourself into this position, you will be more open, and you will have a higher potential to be a confident and calm person.
The opposite of calmness is agitation. So you can be calm in different situations only if you devote some time to yourself. An interval of time where not even your girlfriend or dog can disturb you. Spending all of your time with others will only excite you more and you wouldn’t be able to make clear decisions.
You can do this whenever you want. Just be sure it’s something that you enjoy and it’s as passive as possible. So, for example, a video game or reading a book it’s not a good choice. They are good activities but they won’t relax you. If you wish to read the book, grab some noise-canceling headphones instead and listen to an audiobook. This way you will be relaxed and educated at the same time.
How to put it into practice?
You surely know that practice is the key to everything. So next time, you can challenge yourself to be calm without hurting others. You can do this by explaining your thoughts and arguments, make sure you do that without yelling. If you always keep your opinions to yourself, you will never experience full calmness. The other way to transfer this knowledge in practice is when you conflict just don’t respond. Just be calm and respond with a neutral reply. This will reset the tone of the conversation, and it will give you a chance to gather your thoughts.
- Play Casino games
Another great technique is to play casino games. Those games are the best place to learn how to keep cold blood. There are multiple options here, as well. If you have the chance, you can play them with your friends, if you don’t have the opportunity or time for that you can just simply play online. Any casino game from poker to blackjack or slots will work on your calmness. After a few games, you will learn that there is nothing that it’s just a game. And when you reach that knowledge, you will be a calm and cold-blooded player—precisely the person you wish to be.
- Public speak
There is one more territory when we tend to lose our calmness. When we have to speak in public. This can be public speaking like a presentation, or an important one to one talk like an interview or a date. A general mistake here is that we tend to rush when we are blocked and have nothing to say. In these situations, we usually say “um”, “uh”, and things like that. Instead of these filling words just be silent. It will help you clear your thoughts, and the listener will know that you have to say something meaningful to say, and it will give you more credibility.
The first thing you should do to be calm is to accept your circumstances as they are. Only after that try to change them. This will create a clearer picture of the situation you’re in and you will be able to make better decisions.
Also, you can’t lose your calmness when you sleep or watch a movie. You get to worry only if there is something that you want to happen. I’m not saying to live without desires and dreams. Just prioritize your needs, and don’t worry about the thing you shouldn’t. This can remove a lot of worry from your life.