If someone was to ask you how you thought you were doing as a parent what would you say? I don’t know about you, but I feel like I’m doing an okay job, my kids are great kids and I know that has something to do with me, but there is so much I wish I could do better or give them more of.
Rather than sitting here telling you about everything I wish I could do better I decided to ask my oldest daughter for a little help on this post, and I will tell you that it definitely left me in tears. I asked my daughter Catie, who is 16 to write her father and I a letter telling us anything that she wanted. I did let her know I was going to use it for a blog post because I wanted her to be aware of it in case she stumbled upon it later down the road.
Before I hand you off to Catie, I just feel like I need to explain one thing, so everything makes sense. I NEVER refer to my children as step kids, because they are not in my eyes. We’re a blended family, and I have the best family a girl could ever ask for, but I do want to explain something before it leaves you scratching your head.
My three oldest children are my stepchildren; I’ve been their mom for almost ten years now. All three of my oldest children lost their mom thanks to drugs and their dangerous horrible choices. I’ve done my best to fill in and be a real mom, once Shawn and I had Mattie I worried a lot about treating the other kids different. I NEVER want them to feel like they are not my children or that they are 2nd best in any way because it’s not true. They are my babies all four of them…
Needless to say, I worry a lot whether I’m doing things right or if I should try do things differently, especially with my oldest daughter because she remembers when it was just her dad and her. The other two were super young and only remember me being their mom, so it’s different in ways. Catie and I have always been super close, but since she’s turned into a teen she’s done the whole teen thing – hanging out with friends more, talking to mom and dad less, and ya know being a teen girl who’s growing up and becoming her person and it’s been really hard on me.
I try not to talk about it a whole lot because I know she is just growing up, and I can remember when I was a teen and DARN IT, MOM I’M SORRY! If I had known how bad it hurt to let your babies grow up, I wouldn’t have tried to grow up so fast. If I had known how important our relationship was to you, I would have valued it more. If I would have known then that you truly were doing everything, you did because you cared I wouldn’t have fought so hard. It’s so hard watching your babies grow up and not need mom as much as they once did. It’s so hard not being that cool person in your child’s life who they can’t get enough of.
Dear Mom and Dad,
Sometimes I get so carried away with my life I forget to tell you ho3w much I love you and what a good job you are both doing. Mom, I look back at what dad and I’s life used to be, and all I can say is thank you. We were nothing more than two broken vessels, just trying to get by. You are a life saver. You always tell me that I’m strong and kind and a respectable young lady, but whom do you suppose I learned those qualities from?
It may seem like I don’t listen, but I do, and that’s why I am who I am; I had excellent roll-models.
Dad, I’m getting older you are probably worried about me moving up in the world, but don’t stress it, for I have learned from the best. You’ve taught me everything from how to tie my shoes to how to stay strong when my world is crumbling in. Once again, it seems like I don’t listen, but I am.
Even when we disagree and I get upset because you won’t le me leave, I know there is always a reason, and it calms me down and makes me think and appreciate things a little more.
I have wonderful parents, I wouldn’t change anything about them – they are GREAT PARENTS!
Love Catie
PS
I have so much more to say but since I am not good with words I’m just going to say thank you!
Thank you for everything you both have EVER done for me. Thank you for kicking my butt when I needed it, thank you for loving me even when I act stupid, thank you for the super yum food, the clothes on my back, the roof over my head, and thank you for holding me when I’m crying and reassuring me after my heart has been broken. Thank you for being not only my authority figures, but my friends as well.
Someday I hope I’m as good as parents as you guys are!
Yes I cried like a baby… It’s things like this that help me realize we are doing a good job, and our kids notice more than we realize. Reading this helped me to realize I need to stop worrying so much about what I’m not getting right or think I am not getting right and focus on the here and now because these are the moments that matter. Stop being so hard on yourself and focus on today…
This is why I’m loving Minute Maid’s Doin’ Good video for Mother’s Day…
It’s a nice reminder to all us moms…… that hey maybe we’re doing a better job than we realize!
Take a moment and watch this video, I dare you not to shed happy tears. Thanks, Minute Maid for helping me realize I was a little too hard on myself!