15 Tips To Keep Your Marriage Alive | 5 Inspirational Marriage Quotes

I found a few inspirational marriage quotes about marriage the other night, and it reminded me how hard it can be to keep your marriage alive with kids. It can be hard, keeping your marriage healthy with kids, but it can be done. We have worked very hard, and dealt with so much in our 6 years together, but we have come out on top because we are both dedicated to one another, and our family. At the end of the day I can honestly say my husband is my best friend.

two locks on a fence locked one with a heart that means loveI remember the days when my life was a fairy-tale.  I was excited about spending every last second with my husband, planning our wedding, talking about the fun we would have on our honeymoon, turning our house into a home, and starting our family.  Too bad happily ever after isn’t always as easy as you once though it would.  The fact of the matter is keeping your marriage alive with kids can be difficult if both parties are not willing to work, keeping that flame burning is not an easy task.  The good news is being a parent doesn’t mean you need to abandon your marriage.  Trust me I have four kids, keeping your marriage healthy with kids is possible.  In most cases having a healthy marriage makes you a better parent, because you are able to focus on what is important.

I admit, I’m lucky.  My husband and I are happily married, but there was a time when our marriage was extremely unhealthy.  We even split up for over 6 months a year after our daughter was born.  It was hard, but it was the best thing that could have happened to us.  You know that old saying, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone?”  It’s true, if you love something not having it will help you remember how much it matters.

When my husband and I split up things were hard, but we both had to move forward with our lives.  We had kids to take care of, jobs to go to, and other responsibilities to tend to.   It took us a little over six months, but my husband and I eventually got back together, and things couldn’t be better.  I mean sure we have our issues, don’t we all?  The difference between now and then is we have both committed to doing whatever it takes to keep our marriage alive, and most importantly our family together.  We have experienced life without one another long enough to know it’s not what we want, and that we both love one another.

Something I have learned is that it’s not about that diamond ring, or those fancy shoes, but about the small things that matter.  Taking the time to be with one another, going out of your way, respect, trust, and loving one another.  When you love someone those small things outweigh the big ones.

When you have children, your marriage isI love the above quote!  So many of us tend to drift away from our spouse when kids come into the picture, when in fact we should be putting more focus on it than ever before.  Keeping your marriage alive can be stressful, but so can be being a parent.  Why do we give up on our spouse, but not on our kids if we love them too?

couple holding handsIf you’re looking for a few ways to keep your marriage alive with kids, or even without kids here are a few easy tips to get you started.  Some might work for you, others might not.  We’re all different people, in different situations, but if you love your spouse it’s worth experimenting and trying new things.  Here are a few things that have helped Shawn and I manage to keep our marriage alive with kids, which has helped us have a happier family.  Some might work for you, others might not.  I do know that if you are looking to improve your marriage anything is worth trying.

Say Thank You and I Love You

It’s so easy to forget to say thank you to your spouse, but DON’T! They need to hear it, they want to know that you appreciate them, as you would like to know. Say I love you all the time.  It’s true actions speak louder than words, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to hear it.

Let Him Know You Think About Him

You don’t have to spoil them, or spend a lot of money.  Something small to let them know you thought about them.  Picking up a single rose, their favorite candy bar, or going on a drink on your way home let’s them know you thought about them while you were gone.

Never Stop Talking, And Always Listen

If anything has helped make my marriage healthier, it’s the fact that my husband and I talk about everything, and I mean everything.  From what we had for breakfast, to what the kids teacher said.  Communication is key to any relationship, and it’s not the big things that matter.  If you are not going to talk about what happened at work together, it’s not likely the two of you will sit down and discuss an issue.

Listen, And Wait Until It’s Your Turn To Talk

Don’t just hear what your spouse is saying, listen to what they are saying with an open heart.  There’s a big difference between hearing the words that are coming out of their mouth, and listening to what is being said.

You don’t have to agree on everything, but you should listen to one another even when you don’t agree.  If you don’t agree with something that is being said, before jumping into the conversation allow your spouse to finish what they are saying, and listen to what they are telling you.  It’s easy to become closed-minded when you hear something you don’t agree with.  Do your best to listen, and be open-minded.

The best gift you can give your children

Date Night

Even if you must have date night when the kids are in bed, do it.  My husband and I have a date night twice a month, most of the time it’s after the kids have gone to bed.  We might take a bath and talk, or watch a movie and cuddle.  Regardless of what you do, you are spending quality time alone, together, and this will help you remember why you love one another.


Don’t say you trust your spouse, trust them.  Trust is like communication, if you are not doing it you need to start to make any marriage work.  I think it’s easy to say you trust someone, but the day they come home late begin drilling them about where they have been.  I know sometimes our spouse does things that make us not trust them, but you need to make a decision to move forward or not.  Trust is earned, and when that trust is broken it takes time to completely trust again, but living in the past is not going to help keep your marriage alive. o

Don’t Yell

We all disagree, but I’m sure most of you would agree that yelling never solves anything.  My husband and I used to yell, and scream, and we ended up splitting up.  Trust me we have done it all, but once we stopped the yelling and learned to talk things changed.

Know When To Walk Away

Since we decided not to yell, it’s also wise to know when to walk away.  It’s also easy to push someone to their breaking point, and it’s nto fair.  Both parties need to know when to stop and walk away for a few minutes.  You will be surprised what takeing a break will do for anger.  It allows each of you to calm down, and hit the reset button.

Keep Him On His Toes

Surprises are good, and they don’t have to be big ones.  You don’t have to do anything big, you can do something little like leave him a note in his truck that says, “I love you have a great day at work.”  Call him out of the blue to say you love him, make a dinner date, put the kids to bed early so you can watch a movie together, etc.  Use your imagination.


Texting is cool, but pick up the phone once a day to say I love you, and touch base.  My husband and I used to text, now we call one another at least once during the day to see how things are going.  It’s helped to keep the lines of communication open, which is extremely important to a healthy marriage.

Physical Contact

When you have a chance give him a hug, put your hand on his leg, lay your head on his lap, or put your arm around it.

Turn Off Technology and Get To Know One Another

Turn it off!  If you are spending time together turn off all the phones, tablets, computer, and anything else that might take attention off one another.  If you are talking and the phone rings, don’t pick it up unless it’s an emergency.  My husband used to always pick up the phone when we were having a conversation, it made me feel like he didn’t care what I had to say, and I eventually stopped talking to him, and we eventually stopped communicating altogether.

Take the time to know what your spouse likes and doesn’t like, and remember.  When you cook dinner, don’t add carrots if you spouse doesn’t like carrots.  They might not notice, but they will notice if you continue to put carrots and they have told you time and time again they don’t like carrots.

Support One Another, Be His Biggest Fan

You love them, support them.  If they want to try something new, be there for them.  Even if you think it’s crazy, show support.

Quote "a happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers" written in blue with purple background


Forgiveness is important, we are all human and make mistakes.  Some bigger than others, but in the end if we cannot forgive our spouses we will be stuck living in the past.  Which is filled with pain, hurt, anger, and who wants to live that way.  Make the decision to forgive and stick to it, becasue if you cannot forgive you will not be 100% happy with your marriage.

Involve The Kids 

I have learned, strengthening my marriage doesn’t mean all we need is alone time.  Sure it’s important, but at the end of each day if you have kids you are a parent too.  In my opinion it only makes sence to find that happy place, where you strengthen your family.

I’m by no means a pro, but I have experienced my fair share of marriage issues, and managed to work them out.  I don’t think I have all the answers, you might find some of the tips to help, you may not, but if you love one another you will work to find things that do work.  I don’t have all the answers, but I can tell you that you can keep your marriage alive with all the right tools.  It’s up to the two of you to find all the right tool and get to work.

The Couples that are meant to be are theI am a firm believer, knowledge is power, and we learn best from one another.  Leave me a comment and let me know what your thoughts are on keeping your marriage alive.  What are some things that have work, or have not worked.

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  1. Sandra K VanHoey says

    Thank you for this wonderful article. Marriage vows are taken to lightly in this day and age. It truly does effect the entire family. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the fence

  2. Dorothy Boucher says

    love all of these and so glad you shared them with everyone ,i am always at a constant reminder to do just the above, i think its more me who forgets but i am trying to stay in love and keep my personal words that we said to one another alive and in my heart… thanks again @tisonlyme143

  3. Michael Lambert says

    This is a great post, thank you for sharing. I remember my wife and I had a hard time after my daughter was born. It was quite an adjustment that we weren’t expecting. It’s something no one really talks about. It made it harder because I was laid off from my job 2 days after my daughter was born. But we did make it through it and are doing pretty well. We tried to make sure to constantly talk to each other and let each other know how we are feeling.

  4. Tanya Holland says

    I definitely agree that it’s hard work. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and together for 13total. It takes a lot of work but it’s worth it.

  5. Carol S. says

    Wow, this is a very nice read and very great tips. It also takes two to work a marriage so hopefully, the tips are practiced by both the husband and wife and not just the one able to stumble upon this treasure trove. By the way, I was hoping to share this with certain friends via email but couldn’t find a share by email button. :(

    • says

      I will get the email button updated.. thank you so much, my husband and I both have worked VERY hard to get where we are and we continue to every day… thank you so much and I am fixing the email button right now..

      • Carol S. says

        Thanks! Still don’t see an email button though. WOuld be nice to see it on all posts. Luckily, facebook has a feature now where you can send private messages directly so it’s like emailing privately as well. But not all my friends have Facebook (there are still other who refuse to join social media) and with emails, you can sort of keep the post/article/link forvevr in your account hehe.

  6. pollylee says

    This past December 29th my husband and I celebrated our 40th wedding anniversary….we are more in love now and just have the best time together. I really did marry my best friend! I think so many people choose to split up without trying to save their marriage….it takes work but it is so worth it! Love is grand!

  7. Cathy Jarolin says

    I enjoyed reading your post. Everything you said is true. I have been married for almost 49 yrs. Marriage is, a give and take situation. If you start taking more than you give you will run into problems.. My Husband and I Have told each other I Love you everyday. More than once a day for as long as we have been together…. We had our share of ups and downs but our Great Love we have for each other always pulls us through. God Bless you and your Husband with many more Happy years together…

    • says

      Thank you so much! I really enjoyed reading your comment. I actually debating on posting this, I didn’t want anyone to think I was trying to tell them how they should do things, I just wanted to offer my tips, becasue they have worked for my husband and I. It makes me even happier to know you agree, 49 years is a long time and at one point I didn’t see myself with my hsuband that long, but now I know we will make it there because we have that connection… God Bless you and thank you so much for your comment, I too wish you many more happy hears with together.

  8. tamra gibson says

    Something I have learned is that it’s not about that diamond ring, or those fancy shoes, but about the small things that matter. You said it best!! I have never been about material things and I thank God for that everyday. Marriage is a blessing

  9. tamra gibson says

    One of the best read EVER!!! Marriage is always 2 people working together and I believe God is the number 1 ingredient. He will guide us and help us but we must accept him first and believe. Thank you so much for this

  10. Deborah D says

    This is really well written. While I was reading this it made me think of my parents. I have 4 younger siblings. My oldest sister & I both have health issues. I was born with Cerebral Palsy and my sister has had cancer 3 times. Every time my sister or I have a doctors appointment they ask about our family history. When we tell them they always look at my parents and ask something to the effect. “You two are still married after having two children with health issues?” My parents always say “yes.”

    • says

      Thank you so much, we have a son with Cerebral Palsy, it’s not easy, but I can tell you I have never meet a child that is more fun to be around, a child that is happier, a child that loves with his whole heart, and only wants good for people. He truely is amaizng, and speical… God Bless you Deboarah you are such an awesome person! I cannot tell you how much I love getting to know all of my readers through comments, I cannot tell you how much your comment means to me I really debated on posting this. I wasn’t sure how everyone would respond, I didn’t want to come off as being a know it all.

  11. Cassondra Del Rio says

    i have NO idea WHY i am so emotional over this post. like, i have tears running down my face. my shirt is like .. soaked! see, i absolutely LOVE my husband! we have been BEST FRIENDS since we were age 14. he was my first (& really, ONLY crush) and my ONLY love! i lost him because of some terrible mistakes he did (he became a convicted felon and wanted me to have nothing to do with it. caught up in jail, drugs, guns, etc … but he has changed). anyways, he was gone. i did get married to somebody else. i was very unhappy. i just wanted my best friend back. i prayed for him to straighten his life and that we find each other. well, years passed. i went through a nasty but well needed divorce. in that time frame, i re kindled my friendship with my best friend! he was OUT of jail, he was DONE with drugs, on the correct path, and changed his life around. more than a 180 degrees!!! after my divorce finalized, i told my now husband how i had always felt for him and he felt the same. so we got married right away.
    anyways, long story short, reading these, i try to live by them. sometimes its hard. but other times, its soooo easy because of the love we have for each other. crying? i dont know why. maybe because i love him so much that i would never want to loose him and i dont want to see us separate. sometimes i feel like that will happen because he just straightened out his life then bam, right into marriage. so i just always pray that we can just stick by and never loose sight.
    anyways, now i wanna call him just to say how much i love him =] but he calls me every day on his lunch break. varies by time.

  12. lisa says

    Next month will be our 23rd. year being married. We started out as friends and still are best friends. We not only like each other, we respect each other.We have been through some crazy stuff when the kids were teens. There’s one story in particular. It would take too long to go into. Plus, I want to respect their privacy.

    • says

      Lisa thank you so much for your comment… I’m so glad to hear everything worked ut for the best… I have stories that I want to share but I am not srue how I would type all that up lol… Hugs to you girl.

  13. says

    Thank you so much for posting these. This is something me and my husband struggles with all the time. Especially having small children it can be hard and just wanted to say thanks.

  14. Holly says

    I am alllll about a healthy, loving relationship! Always sharing advice with others and this is good stuff.

    • says

      I couldn’t agree more… You take and twist what someone else has done, and make it your own…. Thank you for your comment..

  15. says

    It was very nice reading through these tips. Very helpful and I am happy you and your hubby are happily married though you had a short time of hardship. Everything worked out in the end and I am happy for you :)

    • says

      Thank you, looking back I’m not sure how we both didn’t kill one another lol… There was about 3 years where we totally forgot about one another, and we eventually ended up not liking one another. In the end everything worked, and I am beyond thankful for it.. However it wasn’t easy, lol. LOTS of trail and error to find things that worked..

      • Naznin Azeez says

        3 years!. Wow. Sounds tough. Your relationship has truly passed tough tests. That’s really great, Jenn :) God is indeed great!

    • Michelle Martinez says

      I’ve been considering a separation with my husband so that he can “remember” me again. He keeps talking me out of it though. I like your tips for trying to make it work. I’ll just keep doing as much as can from your list of suggestions . My husband did mention that I never buy him gifts recently. I didn’t think he cared about or wanted that sort of attention. But I guess even if it’s something small, everyone likes to be thought about and surprised once in a while. I am willing to work on things, I just hope he will put as much effort into it as I do.